Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Life, is beautiful.
Life is your story.
This makes your story beautiful. Unique and beautiful. However it is.. beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I am reading this book, A Million Miles, In a Thousand Years.

And I don't know how to explain what it has already done in my life. It is bringing beauty and meaning to life for me. I am inspired. To make my story something more, to make it the best story that I would have ever written. And I am going to use blog world to write it.

I am on chapter nine, I am not that far in. But it has already showed me so much. Life is your story, and your story is what you make of it. NO ONE can determine your story for you. Sure people give you elements, they give you situations but your actual story what happens with those elements, and those situations. Someone told me once that life is 10% of what happens in your life and 90% of how you handle it. And how its handled, that is up to the author, and yes you guessed it you are the author.

I will start to live everyday like it is my last day. I know all to well that people come and they go when it is there time. Whether we think it is the right time.. weather they are 18, 7, or whatever their age may be. Every story has an ending. And I got too caught up in saying "My ending will be great, people will be applauding, but its not my ending yet, so I still have time to get there." But, have you ever read a book that doesn't have a good ending.. or one that says to be continued.. they are the worst.. and what we don't see is that that could be our story. Our story could end, without an ending because we didn't end it. We are responsible for who we are when our story is over. There is no one else writing it. So stop livinig in the point to where we say, "tomorrow will be the day I make the difference, tomorrow will be the day I smile more" and live it today.. tomorrow is not guarunteed. So why are you running around today with a frown, or a worry. It would not be a good story if today is the day it stopped. When today is filled with tears. THings happen, people cry. I know, hah trust me I know. Those things do add to the story, I'm just saying. If you could never smile again.. is that how you would want to leave earth..

I'm trying to be happier with everything that comes my way. I am trying to smile more even when life give me so many reasons not to. And, it is making a difference. Not only am I trying to be happier. But I am happier. And when I am this way I can see so much more of the amazing things that God has given me and I can do that because I know that even when the hard times come, there is an amazing God waiting to catch me in my hard time. A God that wants more for me to get out of that hard time then I want to get out of it. Just because he doesn't want me to suffer. A God that will be there when no one else is. And a God that will understand my feelings, and my hurt and my pain, when no one else does. A God that made me will be there for me. And knowing that you have someone through everything, and through it all. It tends to shed a new light on life.

Last night I cried.. I cried beacuse I looked at all the lives that I have lost. I cried because I can't go across the street and see Mr. Lou, and he can't make fun of me beacuse of how much I always ate. I know he would like pass out if he saw how much I don't eat now. And he would assure me that there was no reason for me to diet, and that now they don't know what they are going to do with all of the food that they have. But, he isn't there to do that. I cried because I watched a video of my friend Walter Dines, that just graduated, but drowned. I cried because I look at Walter Brooks page to see when the bracelets for him were coming in.. I cried because there was a reason for us to order RIP Walter Brooks bracelets. I cried because I can't see Hope's smile, and she can't hold my hand. I cried because I can't hear Mason call me a booger butt because I pushed his head underwater when we were trying to take the group picture. I cried because James could no longer tell me that if a boy hurt me, that he will kill him. And then I cried because if he was here a year ago, he would have been here for me through my hard time. But, I cried and I got over it. Because God held me. And today, I still have those feelings.. but I know that I am fine. And that all of those people would want me to be smiling today. They would want me to live my story, so that one day. I have people missing me, and saying that it was too soon to die. No one forgets a good story. I don't want anyone to forget me, to forget my story.

I want my life to touch people, to help people, to inspire people. And I am hoping that that is what my life will do. I am re-writing my character, re-writing my story so that it does just that. Because that is the kind of story that I want, and afterall I am the one that writes it.

Never take life for granted, because you never know when it is up. Change your story while you still can.. change your story today.