OD on Tursdays

Is it okay to say that nothing thrilling happened today.. nothing yet.. if something does happen I will post it.
My truly thrilling thursday issssssss- I GOTTA WIG FOR MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME! I will post pictures indeed.

OD on...

This is so sad.
I don't even know what to post.
There are so many things going on in my mind right now, I am overwhelmed and I am confused.. and I am stressed. I didn't even know what to call my post.
I failed a quiz today.. which is not like me at all, I am so dissapointed in myself.

I am so distracted by everything that has happened this week that I don't think I can take another day of school.. I can't focus. The weather isn't helping.. which is a lot for me to say because I like the rain. I just haven't liked it recently..

I'm worried about not having enough money to pay for tuition.. in classes that I am not doing so hott in. I guess the best part is I only really need to take one of each class so it's not like I have to go in depth, in any of these classes. Except my education classes.. but thats not a bad thing because I am doing good in them.

I just hate how almost everywhere I turn there is more stress, and more questions. I wish I could have done something more.. something more to show Walter what he would be missing out on.

All of this is so hard to digest.. I almost feel like I am kind of just here.. almost a speck floating in all of my stress.. not being able to take it in.. just to float around in it.. endlessly where things just keep adding.

I know that I need to pray.. and I have been.. but the stress isn't going away. I am so distracted by other things.. I just. :\ hmph.. this is all horrible.

Im going to go and study now.. at least try.

OD on thursdays.

My truly thrilling thing that happened today, was my Boyfriend coming to see me after I got off of work, he helped to put me in a better mood, he cheered me up..
:) I loved seeing him,

OD on living.

My life, has a lot more meaning now I think.

Sometimes I feel like I owe it to Walter to be strong, and live my life.. because he couldn't.

I'm still having trouble dealing with it when someone brings it up.. but I know that God did it for a reasons, and I know that he is doing what is best.

I don't know for sure if Walter is in heaven. I prayed for his salvation, but I don't know how that worked out.. until I get there, I can only hope and pray that he is there. I wold much rather him be in heaven then in hell. Walter didn't deserve hell.

Walter was the kind of person that always wanted to make people smile, he would wake up every single day, and have a goal of how many people that he wanted to make smile that day. Walter, would always make me smile, everyday. He was my laughter, my smiles, my happiness, for many days of my high school life. Walter knew a lot about my life, and I knew a lot about his. Walter was the kind of person that loved you no matter what, and I mean no matter what, his heart was so big and he was always there for you to show you love.. no matter how much no one else would give it to you, or the reasons why they wouldn't give it to you.

I love Walter, I typed loved at first, and realized that that wasn't the right thing to say, because Walter is still in my heart and mind, and I still love him.

I made Walter a bracelet that I was going to give to him when I went to the hospital, while I prayed for him I held it in my hands, so that my prayers would go to the bracelet, and hopefully he would be able to feel my prayers, because he was in a coma and he may not be able to hear them. I never made it to see Walter in the hospital, and I am very sad and upset that I didn't get to hold his hand a pray with him.. but I know that praying where I was, was just as good. I just think it would have been nice to feel like I am praying with him.

When I went to his memorial service at 12:00 Wednesday night, I went over to talk to his Mom. I am very close with all of his family from playing soccer with his younger sister, and sitting in the stands with all of them. I showed her the bracelet that I made for Walter, and I figured that I should give it to her so that she can hang on to it, and put it in his bed, at the funeral home. I told her that I made it for him, and prayed with it and that I was going to give it to him at the hospital. She told me that it was up to me, and she even told me that I could put it on his wrist.. if it wasn't crazy swollen at the funeral home. So, I have thought about it a lot and I have decided that that is what I want to do. I want him to have it, it was made for him, and it has prayers for him in it. He deserves it. I don't know if I will be able to wrap it around his wrist and tie it, I don't know if I will be emotionally able to do it, but I know that I will try.

I say that my life style has changed. I am living my life, because I know that Walter would want me to do that.. I still cry when I think about it, just because he was so close to me, and I worry about where he ended up. I cry because I know that if Walter truly knew what God was all about, I know for a fact that he would be so passionate about it, just as he was with everything else.

I know that Walter was my hero, because he lived, laughed, and loved, better then anyone I have ever known. Walter held on for us, but in the end it was too much suffering. And all though I will admit I wanted to see him so bad, I wanted him to come out of a coma. I don't know how much he would like coming back not having any legs or arms. In a way I am happy that I don't have to see Walter after coming back, who's to say that my Woo would be the same person. Who's to say that Woo would still be making people smile, or would he need someone to help him smile. I am not saying that I wouldn't jump at the fact of trying to make my Woo smile.. I am just saying, knowing how happy and strong he was, and seeing him not like that would take a hurting on my heart. &I know that it wouldn't ever be the same. However, it isn't the same now because he is not here.

I know that God took Walter for a purpose. I am just scared that God's purpose wont be fulfilled. That doesn't mean anything against God. That is worrying about the people that God wanted to be affected by this. What if they still ignore God. Then what will Walters death have solved. How is that fair? If the people are hard headed and they don't get touched by God through Walters death, then they are wasting Walters death.. almost saying that it doesn't mean anything. Which I know, to God it did mean something. I know that God would have loved to given Walter more time, to see if Walter would ever change the way that he lived. God didn't want to send Walter to hell. But, sometimes God doesn't have a choice. God must have seen more people that he wanted to save, so he took Walter. I don't get how that is fair, and I don't think that anyone will ever understand it. But I do know that God needed him more, and that God hates seeing all our hearts hurting, and all of our eyes crying. But he saw a reason to do that, and I will not second guess it.

I almost feel bad, because I know that some people have been really trying to make me feel better. And, I mean this in not a bad way at all. I really appreciate what you guys have done, by trying to tell me that its okay, and trying to make me feel better. But I want you to know just because I didn't cheer up right away, it's not because of you.. it is just because the only thing that would make me smile.. at that point in my day.. was for me to see Walter, and hold his hand. So, I want to thank you all for helping, and for you all to know, that I appreciate everything that you have done for me, and all of the prayers that you have said for me. They have helped and I feel so much better now.

I don't know if I am going to go to all of the viewings or not, but I know that I will at least go to one. I want to be there for the family, and I want to pray with anyone that wants it. I don't know if anyone will or not. But, I know that I will be there if anyone stands up and wants prayer.

I love Walter, and I know that I will try to do everything in my power to make sure that the reason for God taking Walter, whatever that reason is. I am doing everything that I can to make it happen, and to make it true.

I'm living life this way for you Walter, I love you.

OD on loss.

Walter, I'm so sorry I didn't make it to pray with you, I had plans this week to come and see you buddy. I'm so sorry that I couldn't make it. I love you so much, my world will never be the same without you Walter Brian Brooks. God knew he couldn't keep you hurting any longer. I knew that whenever I was having a bad day that I needed to go and find Walter, and that he would put a smile on my face&today. I don't know who to go to. You always yelled my names in the halls and told me how cute my outfits were, you knew a lot about me, and I knew a lot about you. I would even say i considered you one of my bestfriends. I never wanted anyone to hurt you, and when you fout out that someone hurt me, You would yell and scream in there face. When Janis made fun of me in Mr. P.'s class you would turn right around and make fun of her back. You were always there Walter, I am sorry that I didn't get to say Goodbye. NO ONE will ever take the place of you in my heart Walter, there is a piece that belongs to you, and I won't let anyone have it. You were my smiles, my laughter, and my happiness many years of my life. I don't know what else to say, I just wanted to let you know how much you were loved.

OD on prayer.

Walter I am praying for you so much, I want to come and visit you so that I can pray with you, hopefully I will be able to come soon. I know that God knows what he is doing in all of this, and I have faith that he's goiing to help you stay strong.. :) I have literally been thinking about how, no matter what kind of a day I was having you would always seem to put a smile on my face, and I love that about you Walter, how much you care for everyone and how much you want to make everyone smile-- you always made me smile. "a hero is a person who never stops trying, and one that always inspires others" -walter you have inspired all of us to live as loud as possible, laugh louder then life allows, and love with everything in us. -The world wouldn't be the same without you. I love you, stay strong. I know you can make it.

Please pray for my good friend Walter, he is in a coma in the hospital. Both his legs are getting amputated today, &hopefully things will start to look better with his intestines and lungs. Please pray for him. He needs a miracle, nothing short of what God can do.

OD on wednesdays.

My wish for today--
Hoping that at some point my family will get to the place that they wont have to stress anymore about money. I know that my Dad got his job back&all. But he is still stressing, because the problems just didn't go away.
I am not trying to sound un-greatful. And believe me, I trust and have faith that God will get us through it.. I just hope that my Dad does too. Because then I think he wouldn't be stressing a lot. Oh well. Things come in their own time. &I trust God to plan out that time for me.

OD on surprises.

So.. did I get a heck of a surprise tonighttttt! My friend Summerly, who is going to college at Lee university which is all the way in Tennessee came home to visit us last night at church while we were doing small groups. And none of us knew about it.. needless to say it was a surprise that literally made my night. Although Summerly wasn't here.. during the time she wasn't here me and her got really close, and became really good friends. It was amazing to see her again.. I almost started crying.. hah. I just literally did not know what do with myself.. I was missing her so muchhh and there she was, right there for me to see, and for me to hug.. it was almost. The bad part is that it almost feel like she never left&come Sunday when she has to go home.. it is going to be terrible. &I will miss her so much.. but I will still be able to talk to her TOKBOXX!! whattt whattt. :) Anyways, I know that she is a blogger, and I just wanted to post this to let her know how much it meant to all of us, I am sure that she wanted to surprise us, and come home to all of us. It has made my week ten times better. :)
Thanks Summerly, I love you.

OD on life changing events.

So, I am ultimately going to have 2 different posts today, unless I think of something else to write about. Because so many things happened to me today.. but I will start out with the first one.!

We were in my intro to teaching class and we were talking about kids, and how they can be depressed, and I shared with my class a story of my internship last year. I will share it with you too.

So there was this kid, and I am not going to give you his name.. but lets just call him K. There was a sub, and if any of you know how my internship went last year, when there was a substitute I like did all the teaching, and basically I was the kids teacher, because they would only listen to me and not the Sub. So I am taking the kids out to recess. Wait, pause.. so K. usually wears a sweat band thing around his wrist.. every day. Hilltop is a title one school, so there are a lot of kids with bad families that go there, although that sounds very harsh, it is true. K's. family was one of those families that was really bad. His Mom would come and go almost weekly, and his Dad was often locked up in the jail. So poor K. had to go from living at his home, when his Dad was out of jail, and then living with his Grand mom, when his Dad was in jail, and sometimes but only sometimes was he lucky enough to stay home because his Mom was actually there and not running the streets somewhere. And yes, just being the intern I learned all of this.. it is important to know where your kids are coming from, because in most cases it will explain the certain behaviors of the child. ANYWHOOO we were outside at recess, and K. today has is Sweat band thing on. He comes up to me.. moves away his sweat band thing, and shows me his wrist.. and across his wrist there are deep open wounds. K. told me that he had fell onto a toy at his house, so I asked him when he wanted to show me and he told me (I remember this story like it was yesterday) "I wanted you to see how bad I was hurting." So, that was the first thing that kind of tipped me off, I got down on my knees and looked at him (because kids often only like talking to you if you are at their eye level.. it makes you less intimidating) I asked him if he made the toy do it to his wrist or if he fell on it. K. Told me that his heart was hurting, so he made the toy do it. So, I immediately had someone watch the kids outside for me and took K. down to the guidance office. Now, if you could just picture what was going through my head.. this kinder gardener just came up to me and told me that he was cutting himself. 5 YEARS OLD! And, that wasn't the only thing I was freaking out about.. I am only the intern.. why on earth am I doing this.. why do I have to do this.. why do I have to know this. I was worried about him.. worried if he would ever do it again.. if he could kill himself. He is the sweetest boy, and I just couldn't let me not telling someone end his life.. here he was telling me the story of the toy, and tearing up.. I am trying to keep my cool and not cry in front of him, because I didn't want him to think that I was mad at him.. because I wasn't I was just concerned. So, like I said I took him to guidance, and she asked me what was going on, then I had learned that K. was sent to see a therapist and that he is now on medication.
It's honestly a life changing moment in my life that I will never forget. I was telling this story to my class, and my professor told me that I saved his life.. and that I shouldn't have had to go through the situation, but I did, and I made the best of it.. that made me feel really good. To see that I had possibly saved a kids life. I still pray for him, and I still worry about him. But I know that he is in Gods hands.
About a week ago, while I was doing my internship this year, I was going to the library to interview the librarian in the school, and I saw K. there. Unknowing to me, he transferred schools. And there he was.. still in front of me.. without his sweat bands. I saw him and I almost started crying.. he ran up to me yelling "miss mandyyyy!" and hugged me "I missed you so much" It felt so good to just know that he is still alive.

I never knew that teaching would require this much.. I thought that teaching was just about giving kids information.. not about saving their lives. But as I get further and further into my education on teaching.. I am learning that its so much more then that. Teaching, is almost like every career out there. You need to have organization, you need to be personal, sometimes you have to be that kids parent, you have to be strength for the kids, you have to be a playmate, you have to be a Secretary, a planner &the list goes on and on.. its a tough profession.. but with touching stories like the one about K. how could you not want to be a teacher. It's scary, and at times lives depend on you.. but the impact you make on a students life.. is more rewarding then any kind of salary or anything else like that.
I cannot wait to become a teacher, it is literally my dream job.

OD on Mondays

So I feel like my memory is always going to be about the Eslicks since I spend my Mondays with them. Well, today my most memorable memory is my new nickanme. : The Meat. Holler Holler; and I don't wanna post why.. because its and insider.. and you cant have it!

OD on sundays.

Sunday funn:
Write a simple pleasure of your week or day here. Fun&cute. :)

OD on sundays

My simple pleasure for today are friends.
I love just being able to go out, and no matter what kind of day you are having.. but if you go out with friends.. it puts you in such a better mood.
:) I owe it to April;Nat;and Livi.
Thanks ladies.!

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Today I did nursery.. my LOVER was there. :) I love this picture of us we are so cute..
"&sometimes you can learn more from the people that you help, then they learn from you."

OD on fun days

So today, I was exhausted, but regardless of that I had a fun day!
My claustrophobia has been really acting up today. So, and this might not make sense to you.. but I cleaned my room&with less clutter in my room I can actually be in my room and not be freaking out.. because I don't feel closed in so bad. &Now that I think about it.. that's probably not a good thing at all, my OCD is playing into my claustrophobia.
Anyways.. after I cleaned my room Jeff came over, and we watched what was already on, which was the perfect dress, actually I don't know if it was called that or not.. but it is that show on MTV where the brides try to find their perfect dress. &I was like picturing how I wanted my dress to look, and we were judging dresses. It was lots of fun.
Then we went to the house in the country, I love the house in the country it is so beautiful. :) And if you look across the street right out front of the house, there is like this big block of land, that no one can build on, and it is awesome. My favorite season is the Fall, and when you go up there in the fall time you can look across the street and you can see all the different color trees. It is my favorite thing to do.
After me and Jeff picked up sticks we went on a walk, I love going on walks with him.. all we do is walk with our hands holding, and tell each other stories.. and talk about funny things.. and pick on each other it is just a really good time.!
The reason why my title is fun day, is just because there was a lot of funny things that happened today, with me and my mom and Jeff. We had a blast kind of all hanging out together.. so many jokes, and all :) I loved my day today.. I can't wait to sleep though.. so I am going to get off of here.

OD on saturdays.

So today the thing that made me most tired.
Was, first of all, I had to watch Maylin last night.. &then we had to wake up at 7:00 this morning to go to church so I could watch a bunch of kids plus Maylin.
Then we came home&went straight to the house, I am very tired.. beacuse last night I stayed up until like 1:00 A.M., I am pretty sure on tokbox.

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I watched Maylin tonight, and I put her hair in pigtails.. she looked so stinking cute.. I love the pictures when she is looking at me.. it just makes me feel good. Lol. I love her so much.!
"Blessings come in all forms"

Od on excitement !!

So.. pretty much today was the best day of my life.. I will get there eventually.. just hold tight until I do :).

Okay.. so I know I mentioned before about my Dad not having a job, and that he got laid off.

So, yesterday me, my Dad and my Mom were all sitting in the kitchen because I needed to go to the bank and pay of a payment for my bank loan, and deposit two checks, and my Mom was taking me, so my Dad was telling us what to do so that we didn't mess anything up.
So we are all sitting around the table, and someone calls the house phone, but Dad doesn't recognize the number, and we have been getting a lot of telemarketer calls lately so we just let it get to the voice mail. This woman starts talking, and my Dad rushes over to pick up the phone and to talk to the lady. Somehow the call got disconnected, so my Dad called the woman back &I'll tell you exactly what we heard.
--p.s. these are all dad talking because we couldn't hear the woman on the other line.. lol.
"Sorry, yeah I didn't know if it was my fault or yours."
"yeah?"
"So, I don't have to worry about un-employment?"
and me and mom looked at each other.. kind of puzzled.
Then he was like "Thats great, I will definitely have a much better weekend."
Then the phone hung up..
Dad looked at both of us, and told us that he got his job back. :)! It was so awesome.. it was awesome awesome awesome.. so he Mom ran over and hugged him.. &yeah.
Thank you God. :)
He is faithful, and God always comes through.

OD on fridays.

My favorite verse for the week is:
Hebrews 11:1
"Faith is the confidence that what we hoped for will happen; it gives us assurance to things we cannot see."

So April showed me this verse while we were on the fall retreat, and all week I have been reading back to it, and memorizing it.
It has really helped me out with trusting God.. it's a good thing to go by in your life.

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This was so much fun! I love tokbox. Me,Kaity&Johnny had fun tonight tokboxing.! We were up latee. :)
"true friends are people who think that you are a good egg even though they know that you are slightly cracked." :)

OD on thursdays.

So my most thrilling thing that I did today.. was staying up 'til super late talking to kaity on tokboxx.. it was SO much fun. We got a lot of pictures out of it, and we just had a BLAST!

OD creativity.

So yesterday I was just having a really creative day.
I spent almost all day drawing things for different people, and it was a lot of fun. Although Mom said that I probably got high.. because I was using one of those big king sized sharpies and it STUNK up my room, I had the fan on and the window open all night but I don't think that it did anything. LOL.
So then later on that night after Kaity and Jon were done talking on the phone.. the three of us got on the computer and we were tokboxing. &if you don't know what tokboxing is, it's like a webcam sight where you can get on and talk to your friends :) with your webcam. So, that's what we were doing.. and we kept pausing our screens and taking pictures of them. :)! it was a blllasssttt! I picniked a lot last night.. I will show you one of the pictures fo my 365!.
So I got creative there too, and it was weird because sometimes I get sick of like drawing or writing things.. but I didn't get sick at all. I actually wanted to keep going, it was so much fun!

I can't wait to give all of my people their pictures, I hope that they LOVE it.

OD on fire safety.

It was weird.. there were like three occasions today where I was exposed to fire related things.
The first time was when Daddy was driving me to school, and on the side of the road we saw a car, it was lit on fire.. now I am not just talking a little bit of fire.. but ALOT of fire, and then the firefighters finally came and hosed the car down, and so much steam was coming off of it, it smelt SO bad.
Then when I went over my boyfriends house (&you will see this picture in my 365) I found out that his step dad is becoming a fire fighter.. so I put on the outfit&mannn was it hot in there! I started getting claustrophobic, but it's really cool that he is becoming a fire man.
Then was the real big thing.. me &Jeff (he is my boyfriend) went up to the park to take his "i'm a verbie picture" verbies are what we call the people that are in our youth group for church called verb, and April started "I'm a verbie picture.. I will post mine so you all know what I am talking about.-- anywayys we walk up to the park to take his picture &we have Pookie with us.. which is his doggy. &We look over at the trashcan&see that it was on fire. Really bad, it burned the bottom of the metal trashcan and was coming out of the bottom of the trash can&lighting the mulch on fire. It was pretty intense. So we call their house phone, and Mrs. Karen (Jeffs Mom) brings up a fire extinguisher and Jeff puts the fire out. Then, there was this little boy Stevie there that told us, that he had a picture of the people that were doing it. So we look at the picture and see that it is a these group of girls, and some guys that always make fun of Eden (Jeffs sister). So I am all mad because I didn't like them at all before, and Mrs. Karen goes over to the group of girls (that are still sitting on the hill of the park) and asks them all if they know about the fire.. and they are like "no I don't know what is going on".. and Mrs. Karen sees one of Eden's friends over there. It's safe to say that Eden isn't hanging out with her anymore. So that's kind of where to story ends at for today.. Mrs. Karen wants to talk to the peoples parents that were there. It was just really interesting.

So at the end of the day, I learned alot about fire safety ;) and saved the PARK!

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So my boyfriends step dad.. aka Mr. Dave is becoming a fireman so I tried his suit on and it was really heavy.! lol.
"It never hurts to be a little silly"

OD on wednesdays(1)

SO it is my firsttt wishful Wednesday post I am so excited.. i love making wishses on dandelions and dandelions are kind of gone.. so i made imaginary dandelions.!
--my wish for today is that Maylin would stop having such bad health problems.
She is my little cousin almost 2 years old and she has been to the doctors and on many many medicines, its like a never ending battle that she doesn't deserve. I just wish that she could get better. I love her so much.

OD on surprises

SURPRIIISEE!
I got super surprised today by April saying she wanted to help me decorate my blog&she did &i completely love it.. good work April :) thanksss ladyyy love yah.!

OD on accomplishment.

I feel sooo accomplished I actually finished one of my essays.. Now to do the other one tomorrow, I will get it all done I WILL!

OD on Procrastination

So I have figured out.. that I am a master at procrastination. But, re-regardless of that I will get my homework done, since I am such a nerd, even if it means staying up until 5:30 A.M. that night.. sometimes, I wish I didn't care.. but I just can't miss assignments.. it might kind of be like an OCD thing.
So, I already told you that I got an extension on my essays, and I was going to do them today when I had my hour break in between my two classes, but then after wandering around the school I found a computer lab, where I edited my meme's on blogspot.
Then I wanted to do it when grandmom&pappy picked me up, I would do it at their house before work.
Hah, I ended up changing my fonts for blogspot.
Then work came, and I should have taken my homework there, because I had like an hour of free time.. when I literally ran out of things to do, so I just started drawing.. dang patients.. you would think that if they took the time to schedule an appointment, they would be there.. or at least call in to tell you where they are.
(p.s. for those of you that are lost, I work at a physical therapy place :) I am a therapy tech.)
Then I get home, and get on facebook, to play uno with Jeff for our planned out Uno date.. it's like our favorite game and we just realized that you can play online.
So I play that for a while.. now I am blogging, then I will eat, and then I will hopefully start my essay.. that is do tomorrow.
gotta love the college life.

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UGH what a dumb day. lol. These are my favorite shoes, and today while I was at college I realized that the sole in them were broken. I am so mad.. I loved my shoes.

"The worst thing to come across is a broken 'sole'"
hah get it.. soul.. sole. it worked for sole today in my case.

OD on life.

This is a 365. It is soo much fun. What you do is you take a picture each day for 365 days (a year). It is so much fun to look back on who you were a year ago!

OD on saturdays.

Saturday fun:
Share the most tiring thing of your day or week.

OD on thursdays.

Thursday Fun:
Write one thrilling thing that happened to you this Thursday!

OD on fridays.

Friday Fun:
Write your favorite memory verse from the bible of the day, if you don't have one for today, then write your favorite for the week. :)

OD on wednesdays

Okay, my fun blog thing on Wednesdays is called 'wishful wednesdays' &basically what you do.. is write something that you wish&hope will happen soon. Kind of fun to go back and look, and to see if they ever happened.

Top Ten Tuesdays

A fun thing to do for tuesdays.. list your top ten things that come to your mind.!

OD on Top Ten Tuesdays

1. The cool weather
2. Having just enough change to get a snack from the vending machine.
3. College buddies to help you on papers.
4. Getting out of classes early because the professor has somewhere to go.
5. Picnking (the site.. not actually going on a picnik :D)
6. Having free time to blog at college.
7. Spark notes.com
8. Going to grandmoms&pappys house.
9. Wearing my boyfriends class ring. :)
10. Getting rest during break time.

OD on relief.

Tonight wont be long, I am so tired.
So I had two essays due this week, one for intro to teaching on Monday, and one for World History on Tuesday.. aka today and tomorrow.
So I was super stressed because I didn't bring my books this weekend to the fall retreat, I knew that I was supposed to go on the retreat for a reason, and homework was obviously not the reason that God wanted me there.. so I left it at home.

Good idea, but this meant that I would have to come home and rush to get them all done so that they could be finished in time for class.

I contacted both professors, intro through teachings, explaining to her, that I couldn't get one of my interviews.. so she gave me until Wednesday!! awesome.
I thought that there was no way of getting out of my History essay, but I called my teacher, and told him how I was away this weekend, and we couldn't bring our laptops (when really we could.. but it totally could have gotten stolen.. so I wasn't about to even think of bringing it) So he told me that he had no problem with me turning it in on Wednesday.
Thank you college :)

RELIEF

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At the Eslicks house for my amazinggg tradition. We go to eat dinner (tonight it was spaghetti) at the church&then go to April&Cors house to just chill.
I was finished the green mile.

"I think the boys cheese has done slid off his cracker"- the green mile (favorite quote)

OD on Mondays

My most incredible memory for this Monday:
Hanging out with the Eslicks.. I love hanging out with them.. and Monday is our day to hang out.. it's our tradition day. It is so much fun and everytime I take away a new memory.
Memory: With April in the post office, and all the creepers that came up to us asking us how to do stuff.. like we ran the joint or something :) hah.

OD on Mondays

Mondays most incredible memory: Pick an awesome memory for Monday &post it.. It's a fun thing to look at over time! Enjoy!

OD on trust.

So fall retreat= BANNNGGGINNN!
I wont write much for tonight.. because I am very tired and soar so I would really like to get some sleep so that I can wake up tomorrow, and start on one of my essays&not be totally exhausted. But, I just wanted to let you all know what I found that my purpose was for going on this trip, and also.. the main theme of the trips studies.

Through out the trip.. we did things that trusted our faith in God. All of the "lessons" or sermons were on trust.. trusting God in your past, your presence, and your future. Sometimes, as we all know it can be really hard to trust God with our lives, so that is what we focused on this weekend, and it was absolutely amazing. We did this high roaps course that was in the trees, that had you go out on a "limb" (heh punny I know) and trust in the people around you, and even more deeply to trust God. I was so scared.. but I am proud to say.. that after dry heaving.. freaking myself out.. and crying many tears.. I did it.. 30 feet in the air, and I did it. It proved to me even more how to trust God.

As you all know, I have been having really big problems with my families financial situation&I was convinced that going on this trip was for a reason, and as I am not an adult leader.. I expected my reasoning to be in helping a student with their problems. The first night I got really frustrated.. to the point of crying. I felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to.. because my mind was not leaving home.. I was worried about what would happen.. and every time I took the time to understand my thoughts, they were about my house.. not about any of the students. I felt like I was failing in becoming an adult leader. I realzied.. the second day.. that everything that I was going through.. wasn't only affecting me in the little ways.. it affected me in my sleep, without me knowing.. it was like I felt like I had to carry it all, and I had to save it all. I felt like there was nothing that I could do, and that I was failing as a family member. I soon realized on the trip, that God brought me so that I could learn to trust in him. I wasn't trusting in him.. I knew that God could do it if he wanted to.. but I wasn't giving it all to God.. I wasn't trusting him with it. Because I was still worried, and me being worried.. was just giving the Devil the foothold.. telling me all the wrong things that could happen.. and I was listening to him instead of to God.

The sermon that helped me the most was the trusting in God with your present. Because all of stuff that I am going through, it is during the present (obviously) So I really got to connect and learn a lot from that (plus the person that did the sermon was my FAV. :D heh).

Fully trusting in God has been really hard for me.. I am a worry wart.. and I like to fix things, but now I know that God likes to fix things.. and he wants us to trust him to fix them. &I do.. I trust God to fix what we are going through right now, &I know that we will do it. I know I have said that before.. but this time.. it means so much more.. I know that we will get out of this.

"he's got the whole world in his hands"

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This is the fall retreat picture.. i love it.
I will miss it.. it was such a good time.. we all got so close.. i love you guys!

The main thing.. was trusting in God, and giving him your worries on the retreat.

"You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God."

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Okay so let me just tell you. Scariest thing of my LIFE!
This was a high roaps course 30 feet in the air.. I was freaking out the whole way up there.. and while I was up there.. gagging and sobbing and all. In the end, I am glad I did it.. but i would never do it again.

"And I have learned that through God you are always safe"

Add a caption

so this was actually taken on the 21st. The day before my album started.. but I wanted to add it.. because I am kind of starting my album on an odd day. anyways. :) such a better person to hold my hand, then last year. :)thanks Jeff.

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FALL RETREAT LEAVING DAY! (church weekend retreat at river valley ranch!)
This was me and Jeff.. heh and Eden in like the background all on our way to the fall retreat.! Oh my gosh it was sooo awesome!
"&sometimes when pulling yourself away- you find out more of yourself, then ever before."

OD on stress

So, not all of today was stress, but a good portion of it was. I have two essays due next week, one on Monday and one on Tuesday. So the one that is due on Monday is from my intro to early childhood education class. We needed to interview 3 teachers, and then we needed to write a summary, and essay on them. Well we got our paper at the beginning of the week, and I only go to my internship on Fridays, because all of my other days are booked. So today was the day that I was going to interview the teachers, and one of the teachers wasn't there. So I don't know what I am going to do. I emailed my professor, and explained to her the situation to see if I could get an extension.. but she hasn't said anything yet. &I know its college, but like how are you going to give me an essay this week&expect it to be done by Monday or Tuesday. They act like we have nothing to do, when some of us are actually working, and doing stuff for JESUS!
heh. sorry about that. Just needed to vent.
So there is my stressful part. Plus the fact that I am writing my paper for Monday now (that of what I can do on it) and I will be writing the other paper on Monday night, for Tuesday. Because I am not going to bring books on the fall retreat to do my homework One, it will not get done, plus I feel like I am going on this trip for a reason, and that reason isn't to do homework, so I am not going to bring my books. I was going to, but then decided against it.

But, now I am in my comfy clothes, and I am writing my essay, maybe I will eat something other than just a rice crispy treat before I go. Because I am hungry, it's almost like there isn't even time for food anymore.

Update on the family: Things are going pretty good, stressed out moods, and words not meant have been happening a lot lately, :) we will get through it though, I have the faith.!

So at the end of the day, I know that all this stress is worth it, because I am becoming something that I want, and I know that I will enjoy in the end. It's a long road.. but a road that is worth it
"A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." -Henry Brooks Adams
Ahem, he or she that is.

fall retreat time!

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1year since my knee surgery.. hah tried a new hairstylee, took a picture &liked it.

"&You'll never learn to walk again, unless you work at it&try"
True in so manyyyy ways!