OD on trust.

So fall retreat= BANNNGGGINNN!
I wont write much for tonight.. because I am very tired and soar so I would really like to get some sleep so that I can wake up tomorrow, and start on one of my essays&not be totally exhausted. But, I just wanted to let you all know what I found that my purpose was for going on this trip, and also.. the main theme of the trips studies.

Through out the trip.. we did things that trusted our faith in God. All of the "lessons" or sermons were on trust.. trusting God in your past, your presence, and your future. Sometimes, as we all know it can be really hard to trust God with our lives, so that is what we focused on this weekend, and it was absolutely amazing. We did this high roaps course that was in the trees, that had you go out on a "limb" (heh punny I know) and trust in the people around you, and even more deeply to trust God. I was so scared.. but I am proud to say.. that after dry heaving.. freaking myself out.. and crying many tears.. I did it.. 30 feet in the air, and I did it. It proved to me even more how to trust God.

As you all know, I have been having really big problems with my families financial situation&I was convinced that going on this trip was for a reason, and as I am not an adult leader.. I expected my reasoning to be in helping a student with their problems. The first night I got really frustrated.. to the point of crying. I felt like I wasn't doing what I was supposed to.. because my mind was not leaving home.. I was worried about what would happen.. and every time I took the time to understand my thoughts, they were about my house.. not about any of the students. I felt like I was failing in becoming an adult leader. I realzied.. the second day.. that everything that I was going through.. wasn't only affecting me in the little ways.. it affected me in my sleep, without me knowing.. it was like I felt like I had to carry it all, and I had to save it all. I felt like there was nothing that I could do, and that I was failing as a family member. I soon realized on the trip, that God brought me so that I could learn to trust in him. I wasn't trusting in him.. I knew that God could do it if he wanted to.. but I wasn't giving it all to God.. I wasn't trusting him with it. Because I was still worried, and me being worried.. was just giving the Devil the foothold.. telling me all the wrong things that could happen.. and I was listening to him instead of to God.

The sermon that helped me the most was the trusting in God with your present. Because all of stuff that I am going through, it is during the present (obviously) So I really got to connect and learn a lot from that (plus the person that did the sermon was my FAV. :D heh).

Fully trusting in God has been really hard for me.. I am a worry wart.. and I like to fix things, but now I know that God likes to fix things.. and he wants us to trust him to fix them. &I do.. I trust God to fix what we are going through right now, &I know that we will do it. I know I have said that before.. but this time.. it means so much more.. I know that we will get out of this.

"he's got the whole world in his hands"