Tuesday, June 15, 2010


As hard as it is for some of us to realize, God made us so that we could be us.. Not so we could look like that "girl". Or have that "girls" hair, or like the shoes that "she" likes. So that we could do what WE like, what God put in our hearts to like, and what God put in our hearts to crave, and do, and be.

Not what the next "girl" likes, craves or thinks.

I never realized until someone pointed out to me, that I had not been myself. I wish that I could turn back the time and just stay myself, I wish I never dropped and changed myself to fit what others thought I should be. I wish my whole life I would have just done what I thought was right, and I did what I wanted to. There was way too many times that I didn't feel right doing something, but did it because in others eyes it was right. And just so we are clear on this.. I don't mean about good things that I have done.. because when I do something that someone else suggests that is a good thing, I.E. ending certain relationships, it has made me a better person. I am talking about all of those decisisons that were made according to others, that have made me an angry, nasty, pessimistic person. I wish I never let people change me into that person.. because then I wouldn't have the hard time right now of getting that old person back. And, let me tell you it is a struggle. This is not to blame all of this on those "other"people, I am sure that half of the time they didn't think that they were changing me so drasitically from the person I was. I blame this on myself, for letting myself be changed. Have you heard the saying if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything. Thats what I did I fell for anything. So there for, it is beacuse of me that I am in this place today. Not because of the girls that I longed to be, or the people that I longed to please, not beacuse of the actions they did, but the actions I did.

& As hard as it is to change and be the better person, I know that God will help me, and I know that he will show me who he wants me to be. Its just all hard to say goodbye to the old me, and to change the way I think about things, and the way I do things, and the things I say...it's just so hard.. to change the way you were into the way that you want to be. Or into the way that God wants you to be.

This post isn't for you to look at and to feel bad for me. It's not for you to read and say, wow she is such a great person because she is trying to be better. This post isn't about me.. well it is. But I posted it to help. To help those girls that always think that they could be better, if they dress more like "her".. or laugh more like "her".. shoot some girls even try to sneeze like other girls because they think that, "she" sneezes the right way. This is for those girls who are so lost in trying to be other people because they are not comfortable in their own skin. This is for those girls who smile, laugh and even feel only beacuse others tell them its okay. Listen to me when I say this.. listen to me when my heart types these words because they are ohh so true. YOU are beautiful, jsut as you were made. YOU are unique, and there is nothing more beautiful then something that is rare, something that can't be found in other places. There is nothing more beautiful then someone that stays true, someone who is truly themselves and is truly unique, and someone that is Gods. So as all of you are wishing that you were something different. STOP, beacuse one day you are going to realize that the old you was perfect, and that you long to have that person back. Don't get rid of the old you to fit in or to be loved. Because the truth is, you will find so much more love when you are you. When you live by your own standards. Because not only will you feel love.. but you will know, and be able to trust that the love is for you, and not the fake person that you have become. And that is more rewarding than anything that you could ever begin to imagine.

So no matter how important you think that friendship is, no matter how beautiful you think that person is, not matter how much you want that guy to like you. Just remember, that God has called you to be a much more beautiful person then the girl sitting across the room. And that beautiful person he is calling you to be is yourself.

Take it from someone who knows. God's plan and purpose for your life is so much more than you could ever think up by yourself. The person he wants you to be, has so much more to offer than the person that you want to be. So if you follow and trust in the Lord, you will be beautiful, you will be his beautiful intended creation. &it is there that you will find your true self, and I promise you that once you find that you will be handsdown undeniably the happiest that you have ever been in your whole entire life.

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