freebies from grandmom.

Who's to say that your grandmom can't have things that you want.
Well you see my grandmother is going through things in her house, and moving them around because they are getting their house painted.

And my Grandmother sells avon, so she always gets things sent to her house, there has been some mascaras that I have wanted forever and she found them, and gave them to me, because well, My Grandmom doesn't really wear mascara. lol.

But this post, just reminds me to talk about my favorite earings, they are so much my favorite that I have stopped wearing them.. because I am scared to loose them.
My Grandmother had this beautiful pair of earings, that I have wanted ever since I was a little girl (I know bed time story much, just hang in with me), and my ears kept getting infected, and we had to close them up, and yadda yadda. So whatever, the time came when I could finally get my ears pierced without them closing up. And, she gave them to me:), and I am pretty sure that I wore them ever since.. but now, I think because I wear them too much, the stone always falls off, and so I think that I am going to surprise my Grandma, and get them made into rings for her and I to both have:). You see, its not even the earings that are beautiful, its the fact that wherever I go, I get to have a piece of my wonderful, amazing, beautiful Grandmother with me. The strongest woman I know to this day, the woman that would drop everything and basically sacrifice herself for the people around her that she loves. A piece of me, that inspires me to be better, every time I look at them, and every time I remember that I am wearing them.
Now, I just have to get the money to go and do that.
So there you go, a piece of me. :) And why that piece is so important.

Accomplishment...

in its finest form:) Today, I exercised, just as I promised to, I did the pillates (I do not know how to spell this word, I don't know if you can tell...) work out and it was, pretty hard. My abs are, killing me.
This is completely side note, but yeah.. I am watching one tree hill, and these girls are like bidding on the basketball team guys, and this chick wins, (and I am sure after I tell you what their date is, you can tell what kind of a girl, this chick is) and takes her date to a strip club. I don't understand why you would do something like that, hey let me take you out on a date so that you can look at other girls! GREAT IDEA, nottt.
Okay so back to what I was saying, and my abs are still killing me. Then Jeff took me out to goodwill, and I found all of my murder mystery outfit, including the shoes! :) anddddd I will wear them all for anything.
So I am pumped about that..
OH, and I almost forgot to tell you all about my wonderful amazing breakfast, seriously it was like the best breakfast that I have had in a while:)

So, this is it, I know it looks really simple.. but it's not I promise, well it is but, it didn't taste simple. So I was trying to eat healthy, and I cut up a cup of strawberries, and then I put in a cup cherrios, and the cherrios were already starting to get soggy, and I HATE soft mushy ceareal, so I decided not to add the milk. &It tasted fantastic, like strawberry shortcake:) it was seriously fantastic, :) mmmmmm! I am pretty sure that I am going to hook myself up with a bowl tomorrow too!

friday, my favorite day:)

for blogging reasons, and for not going to school/work/anything reasons :)
so todays favorite bible verse:
Psalms 19:14
"May the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be true to you."

So first of all, this verse really isn't my favorite, but I shamefully, left my favorite bible verse notebook at my grandparents, so I had to refer to the book that I write in for encouragement (yes, I have a gillion notebooks and they all have a purpose). I have been looking at this one a lot lately. &I really a lot.
-&second of all. This verse to me.. hah I don't have a mouth that cusses, so its not control my tongue in that way.. but control it in the things I talk to people about, with Jeff, the emotional things that we talk about. And controlling my gossiping, all kinds of things.
&lastly of all. I think, that no matter where you are in your spiritual life you have to pray to God that your heart be true to him. Because its challenging. With all the sin in the world creeping up to you, and with it knocking on your door endlessly, with God not being physically in front of you, it can be hard. So it always helps to just pray that your heart be true to the Lord. Whether you are struggling with that or not.

workout? ugh.

So, I have been like hitting a WALL with working out, and not like a soft nice cuddly pillow wall, like a GYNORMO, BIG, HUGE, brick wall. :\. I don't want to do it, and I keep telling myself that, I have better things today. But today, here is the day when I have nothing to do, and I am going to get my but up and go and do my mothers windsor pillates video that she has.

It's not just the get thin issue with my anymore, I am much calmer after I work out, i worked out all my stress that I have been going through, I have just some simple me time.
I mean, now don't get me wrong.. looking better and all is def. a plus, hah okay.. its a BIG plus, and it helps me out with something that I have very little of, self confidence. I'm pretty sure that on days that I work out I could totally bum it, and wear sweats but still look pretty, and that's just because I have worked out, so I feel better about myself.

So there are many reasons to do it, hopefully this blog will serve as an inspiration for me to get back on my feet, I surely hope so, beacuse there is alot going on right now, a lot of stress that I could benefit from loosing!
So I am going to get up right now, and exercise.. I will not stall on the computer any longer.. I am actually walking away from my computer right now. (after I check this comment) lateralll:)

Thursdaysss..

Well, you see today nothing really thrilling happened, but I think that I may change them all together to "really thankful thursdays" or something along those lines, it's easy for me to come up with things that I am thankful for, but not much thrilling-ness happens, so I think I am in need of a change.
I am thankful, because when you give God something, he takes it for you, and he takes care of it to the best way possible. And, I am thankful for how this one turned out.♥

arlight...

So, this week has been a tough week. Thinking about the people that I have lost, has really just put a hurtin' on the ol' brain.

&then I got a scare. A super scare, a scare... I think its a good thing I got it. Well not good what led to the scare, but good of my outcome, maybe not sure. Yes, I think so.. its just a lot to think about right now.
I know that I am not making much sense at all, because.. right now, nothing makes much sense to me. My brain is kind of spinning right now, now don't think that I am wreck, beacuse I am not.. I promise. Its just a lot to think about, and confusing all at the same time, a lot of praying, and a lot of emotions.
I mean to blog about this earlier.. but I didn't have the time, and I had to go to play practice, and so I am just now having the time.
&I don't know if you can tell or not but my thoughts are not all together yet.

Lets just say, things weren't settle, and I couldn't bare for them to be that way endlessly, I needed more time, and there is a lot of thinking to do along with this.

I am happy, the hurt is gone. I am more than happy.

God is faithful, and I am glad that he gave me more time.

hard week.

This week, is a hard week for me. My friends little brother, Masson, died a year ago this Wednesday.
I was reminded of this through a text message, I checked the calendar and soon enough, it will be a full year since the sweet little 11 year old boy that was once in my everyday life had passed due to cancer.
As I thought of this I took a trip down memory lane, I remember hearing about this, a week after my other friend since childhood OD'ed on drugs. That whole year I had a series of deaths, of people that were very close, and special to me, people that all had a special place in my heart, and that I loved very much.
What I am about to tell you is weird how it came up tonight, and again I think God is using it to help me get all of this out and to be over and done with it.

I was watching the biggest loser tonight (i love that showw!) and O'neal (my favorite, alongside his daughter Sunshine) found out that his brother died do to cancer. O'neal was going through a hard time because he didn't get to say his last words to his brother, his goodbyes. At training he broke down and had to leave the gym Jillian followed near by telling him "if he was standing right in front of you right now, what would you say to him.

Within every situation ever case that I have been through while loosing these people, I have regretted something, something that I never said. Often times the what ifs creep up. And I tell myself, you could have saved this person, if you only... You see I know that all of these people weren't Christians, and they made it clear that they did not believe in God, and that most of the time they wanted nothing to do with him. With the exception of Mason, I am not sure if he believed or not.. I don't think he was old enough to make his OWN decision, and his parents weren't implementing it as well as I think they should have, but that is not he point to this blog.

I am going to write a letter to each person that I have lost, telling them everything that I want to, in the order that I lost them. I will warn you it could get pretty intense, so sorry if it gets overly emotional.

1. Gods surprising encouragment
2. When your glasses are ready before you think they will be!
3. Peanut butter&jelly on a wheat tortialla shell:)
4. Finding out that a paper is due later than you thought.
5. Having a boyfriend that can drive me places so i CAN get my glasses:)
6. The book "Prayers That Avail Much to Teens."
7. Updating my praise section on my ipod
8. Having time alone with God
9. That favorite scent that you found under your bed:)
10. Hearing something you need to hear:)

Girls Beach Weekend:)

So I always write down verses that stick out to me, in a little book, that way I can carry it with me, and I always have those scriptures with me, to help me if I come up to something that I could use them for. Today, something happened to the spiral of my notebook that I normally use, so I had to go on a hunt in my room to find another book that I could use. I came across the little books that we used at girls beach weekend, So I decided that I would use that.. since it is the smallest book I have.
Now, I sadly will admit, that I hadn't looked at this book since probably that weekend. :\ But, thats not what is important here! Lol.
During the nights when we did not have our journals, or leaders took the books, and wrote scripture in them to encourage us, and told us that we were beautiful, and today while I was looking through my book, I came across the most amazing thing ever.
Psalms 37:23-24
The Lord directs the steps of the Godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

I have had my share of stumbles, believe me. Its nice today to know that God will never let me fall, and that he is holding me by the hand:) It is just amazing to know.

&I love how this all worked out.. I needed to hear that today, and I did. God is so faithful and amazing. He is always there, even when you do not expect him to be. ♥

my famous prayer.

So this prayer, has been in and out of my head lately.. and I am really tired, and was just doing prayer time. And it popped back in my head. So I thought I would get it down, so I know the prayer always, and one day I can check and see what Gods will actually was in reguards to my prayer, he is amazing and I know that he will always come through, so I know that this will be interesting to come across one day, and see what God has done for this person.

God, I pray that you open the eyes of this person Lord, I pray that you guide them and direct them with your light. I pray that they will only follow your path, Lord I pray that you hold this person in their times of struggles, I pray that you lift them up, and help that to seek you above all things. Lord, show them the truth, show them that you only want what is best for them God. Show them that you love them, even when they feel like no one does, give them all that they need so that they don't have to search anywhere else. God I pray that you love this person, when they feel like no one else does. I pray Lord that you guard this persons life, and although they may run I pray that you put a wall around them to protect them. I pray that your will is carried out in their lives, and that they accept it willingly with an open heart. I pray that this will all be worth it.

So not only is it just one prayer for one person, but as I was writing it I realized that I can use it for many people.

:) if there is anyone that you care about, I am sure that this prayer will work for you too!