Tuesday, May 4, 2010

oy veyyy!

So, she is home.
The truth is I don't want to see her. I don't want to let her back in, it hurts being lied to and I am sick of it.. literally.
And I don't trust myself around her.. I might say something that I don't want to out of anger.

I think that it is harder the second time around. Because, for so long.. we thought she was doing great.
Class was cancled this morning, which normally I wouldn't mind at all. And I wont mind.. if my stinking teachers realize that they are supposed to EMAIL us when they wont make it to class, that way we know.. not to come to class.
So, now I am up here.. doing nothing.

It gives me time to blog which I am greatful for, but at the same time it gives me lots of time to think.. which I don't feel like doing with eyes all around. :) Hah.
So I think that I am just going to distract myself from other things, and I will read blogs.

I can deal with my emotions laterr, as in not around people. Thanks..lol.

Today has been a good day so far, I exercised.. which felt good, I'm tellin' yah exercise always helps when you are stressed out.

Today while I exercised so that I didn't get bored.. I watched monsters inc. &lemme just tellll you. I think that I have forgotten how amazinggggg that movie is. It is just so stinking cute. Boo just steals everyones heart I am telling you!

There has been this guy that has walked up and down the hallway SLOWLY a number of times, and like a big number of times.. its kinda creepy.. considering I am in the room by myself. I don't really like to go to the computer room where there are a billion people, I would rather keep to myself.. and type and read things by myself.

Thats how I am for the most part in school. I keep to myself.. I don't really care to have friends here, I have realized how important it is to surround yourself with Godly people, and correct me if I am wrong.. but there are not that many Godly people at AACC, hah I mean don't get me wrong.. I have freinds.. but they are just like talk to a little in class, and text if you have a question about homework kind of friends. Not like hang out all week kind of friends.

I do have friends that are unsaved, I just don't see the point in adding more.. if that makes sense.. I dunno I am not trying to sound nasty or mean.. but to me a good friend is one that you can relate to, one that you have common grounds with. One that can build you up and always encourage you to do better. One that you benefit from, and always know that they have your best interest in mind. And to me that means having friends that are in the word and are christian. In saying this.. I have no abadoned my friends that are not saved.. that just isn't my cup of tea. I just choose to stay away from making more friends that are that way for now.

I have no idea why I am writing so much, I am thinking that my brian is just full of things.. that have no order whatsoever.. which is kind of giving me a headache.. but like some of the stuff in this post is completely random. Who knows.. maybe its just my way of dealing with things.. getting my mind off the subject.. because I don't think that I need to go through this again.. I don't think that its fair.. so maybe subconciously I am blocking myself from going through it again.

Whatever it is.. it is making my blog posts kind of amusing and funny, so hey.. why not?

No comments:

Post a Comment